The Holidays at End of Life: Embracing the Joy That Is

The holiday season is here, and with it, tinges of grief are intertwined with the tinsel and decorations. The streets, aisles, and classrooms are brimming with joy, all while some of us are grieving loved ones we lost in years prior. Many of us are mourning the holidays of the past altogether.

This year, you might be thinking of a season when you weren't caregiving...or worrying. Many of us wish our loved one was healthy this holiday. If it is you that is at end-of-life, you may wish that you felt well enough to smile, prepare meals, or decorate with your family.

It is so very normal to grieve our memories and people.

With the tears and the heartache comes the opportunity to embrace this season for what it is. I was reminded of this when I read this week's latest updates on actor Bruce Willis. The Die Hard and Pulp Fiction star was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia 2023 after first being diagnosed with aphasia in 2022. His wife Emma Hemming Willis opened up about dementia care at the 2025 EndWell Summit, and talked about what it's like to face this holiday season while caring for Bruce.

"It's joyous, it's just different," Hemming Willis told People magazine in an interview published over the Thanksgiving holiday. "Bruce loved Christmas, and we love celebrating it with him. It just looks different, so we've kind of adapted to that."

She goes on to tell the magazine: "You have to learn and adapt and make new memories. Life goes on. It just goes on. Dementia is hard, but there is still joy in it. I think it's important that we don't paint such a negative picture around dementia. We are still laughing. There is still joy. It just looks different."

I know how from experience how cruel and unrelenting dementia can be. With this in mind, there is still inspiration in Emma's testimony. This holiday season is all there is right now. The time we have with our loved ones is fleeting.

During this hopeful time of year, we can try and lean into the memories we have, and the ones we can still make while we are all here together. It takes courage and a whole heck of a lot of radical acceptance, but we can honor this moment by being mindful of it, and allowing the peace and grace of the season to envelop us.

Whether you're making the most of each holiday moment or contemplating what this season means for you, know that you have permission to grieve, be present, and even find joy, simultaneously, in Christmas and the holidays.

Honor your loved ones by taking part in the holiday activities they enjoy. Adapt activities so your family member can still participate in them. Let those you care about know how much they are loved and appreciated. Show up and be present in whatever way you can, so your grief can be transformed into purpose.

As you embrace what is, don't forget to rest. Take time to check in with yourself and prioritize your self-care above all else. -Jessica

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If you have any questions about end-of-life needs, I am here. Please also feel free to find a time that works for you this winter, when it comes to free consultations, local walks, and virtual end-of-life planning and advocacy sessions. Weekend and evening workshops will be available in the new year. Wishing you a joyous holiday season.